three words

So through the events this summer I didn't think that I would ever be okay again. Really. I mean I knew I would be happy again but I never really thought that I could truly be okay again. Then I met this guy and I really had no intentions of liking him. Then through days of talking to him and late night conversations, I've started to really fall for him. But today he told me he loved me... I broke down. I don't know whats wrong with me. Finally someone who wont use me and I run from him. I really like him. But I can't tell him I love him. I still love the guy I've spent my whole summer worrying about...I can't not. I hate myself right now. I just don't know whats wrong with me at all.

Finally.

I can finally say that I am okay. And knowing that, makes me beyond happy.

Wow.

It has officially been three weeks now since hes been gone. I miss him. Hes suppose to come home this week. I hope so anyway. Well, I don't know if him being home is a good thing or not. I need to move on with my life. I've spent the whole summer worrying about this.
I think I'm quiting marching band...I don't want to but I need to pull my gpa up this year without added stress.

I haven't died yet.

Its been two weeks. Two weeks which I can proudly say that have not driven me insane. I miss him more than anything though. Six hundred miles away isn't as far as I thought it would be. He hasn't forgotten me yet.