The end?

Its been two years. On the 16th it will be exactly two years. Two years since everything started with him. Two years of fighting off depression and creating more scars. I'm glad to be alive. Last year was a year of peace from him but I still haven't let him go. I said before that everything would get better and it did. I've successfully found a way to be happy. And, Devin is back in my life. Hopefully this time forever. She wrote me a letter and it made me cry. I went a year not being able to cry and now I cry too much. But in the letter she said she had found this blog. I had never intended for her to find it. I never really intended for anyone to find it. This blog has been my way of fighting off the pain from him. An online diary of everything that goes wrong or good in my life. I don't post as much as I used to. I rarely post anything anymore. When I found out art affects me the way it does, I started drawing every time I thought about hurting myself. Now, its just a happiness that keeps me happy. I guess I'm finished with this blog. Then again, a few months from now I could post something else.

The end..

Last night I broke up with Dustin. I feel like I may have made the wrong choice. He deserves better than me. He deserves someone who is smart and analytical like him. I'm not like that. Our relationship was more like a friendship than a relationship. I didn't want to hurt him. I'm beyond worried about him now because of that. Hes hurt and I am too. I wish he could see that he is better than I could ever ask for. All I can hope for is that he sees that without hating me. I will always love him.

Gotye

Today is February 20th 2012. Its so weird how fast time has flown by. Yesterday was mine and Dustin's one year anniversary. Holy cow. Its like yesterday we just met. Going to tech every other day, and on the other days I'm working at First Methodist Preschool Nursery. I want a job at Bilo though. :/ Things have changed a lot with me and my old friend who I have spoken about in previous entries. At midnight last night I found the courage to text her just to see if she would reply. I had no intentions of starting a conversation but her response ticked me off and after a while of that, she guessed it was me... I've never really missed someone so much. I mean, I have. But, its just not like this. I missed "him" but we're just best friends now. There is this song that I have been listening to lately. Its called: Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye. Apparently that is pronounced "Got Cha" xD I love the guys voice on here. But its like 70s and 80s rock on acid. I love it oddly enough. Lol. But for whomever reads this, check Gotye out. Its definitely worth it. And if you don't think so, I'm sorry. :/